American culture is suffering from the loss of "the third place". What you may well ask is "the third place" let alone how have we lost it? Ray Oldenburg, author of The Great Good Place, asserts his theory as follows. For generations of Americans, the first place is the home where we are identified by kinship roles: partner, wife, husband, mother, father, grandparent, daughter, son, sister and brother. The second place is our employment where we are identified by our job, skill, position or title (unless of course we are workaholics and our job becomes our first place). The third place is where we can relax and be identified for our true selves.

In society at large, extended workdays, longer commutes, chain stores, automated tellers, suburban car garages and home entertainment systems, are leading to an increasing sense of isolation. This may explain the popularity of the television show Cheers where the theme song was "Where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came. You wanna go where people know their troubles are all the same. You wanna go where everybody knows your name." The show was set in a Boston tavern where the staff and the regulars knew each other's stories, struggles, dreams, and character flaws intimately.

We lend to human stories an ear,

Extending hands in loving worth.
Our hearts unfold like flowers here,
To fuller life our yes gives birth.

This song begins each gathering of Evensong, an Adult Enrichment class that I facilitated on several occasions at other UU churches before arriving here. Evensong is very much like the Small Group Ministry program that we are introducing at Channing Church. A small group of ten participants explored religious concepts through the lens of our own experience. The topics included: spirituality, the divine, vocation, death, and human nature. The central event was the sharing time. Attentive listening was our practice. This meant that each person would speak without interruption from his or her own perspective. From my small group experiences, I have discovered that when individuals share stories, beliefs, and doubts in an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, a remarkable thing happens: we are heard into speech. Through sharing our particular life experiences, universal truths are revealed. We are able to get in touch with a deep place of knowing.

In the eight weeks of Evensong, Gathering Six was the most powerful session for me. The focus that evening was upon "the church- what is possible together?" The preparation sheet included the following questions:

What would a true church/ a real community be like?
When, where, how have you glimpsed this church possible/ community possible?

For many of the Evensong participants in one particular congregation, it was a new idea to have church used as synonymous with "true community." The sad reality was that most participants had not found true community in a church. Some participants shared childhood memories of witnessed hypocrisy- vivid examples of adults not practicing what they preached. Many could not get past the ways that religion is often used as a vehicle of oppression and exclusion. Some people spoke of the welcome relief they felt in finding a Unitarian Universalist congregation that shared their deeply held values, but that unfortunately they had not found a real bond with the other members. Sure, they were friendly with several people but they did not feel a part of a supportive community network. The examples of where such a real community had been experienced included: the workplace with a team approach, Summer Camps, Habitat for Humanity projects, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and a Parents Support Group.

During the sharing time, I was touched by the words of one of the Evensong participants who spoke honestly of her pain. Tears rolled down the face of this middle-aged woman as she realized that her longing for community had never been fulfilled. The participants on either side of her quietly took her hands as she spoke. They were not fixing her problem or denying her pain by saying "There, there" but truly listening, understanding the longing, and connecting in silence. That Evensong circle, a group of relative strangers and acquaintances, became a true community. They were able to honor the unique perspectives of each individual while finding unity, and a deepened sense of belonging in their Unitarian Universalist congregation.
I believe that church can be synonymous with real community because my life has been touched by the experience. My hope is that many of you here at Channing Memorial Church have experienced real community through being a part of this congregation. Sometimes the feeling arrives in worship while blending our voices in song, entering into silence meditation or sharing joys and concerns. Many of you may already be a part of a small group like the Choir, Women's Food and Fellowship, Meditation or an Adult Enrichment class. Sometimes we feel the bond of fellowship in working side-by-side like in the Soup Kitchen, Book Sale, Spring Fair, or even committee work. Many of you have formed your own circles of friendship over the years.

Channing Memorial Church affirms the value of the third place in your life. My sincere wish for you is that you have many places where you can relax and be identified for your true self: clubs, circles of friends, support groups and more. As we grow in size, it is becoming less likely that Channing Memorial Church will be a place where everybody knows your name and you know the name of each person (this is one reason why it is so important to wear your nametag).
One of the wonderful things about this church is that the ministry is shared. Caregiving at this church is exceptional in that a team of lay leaders of which each one of you is a welcome part, reaches out to members both in times of celebration and need. Like in the Cheers theme song, we want you to know that we're always glad you came and we empathcize with your struggles. Please help us to strengthen this network of caring by letting us know when you are in need of support: phone numbers and email addresses are found in your order of service.

For those of you who are interested in the idea of Small Group Ministry, now is the perfect opportunity to experience it first hand. We will be holding sessions in April, May and June. There are yellow forms available here today and were also sent in the monthly newsletter for you to indicate what time and day of the week works best for you. The groups will be meeting in member's homes for two-hour sessions every other week. The topics will be a wide-range of thought-provoking issues that will stimulate your mind, heart and spirit. Plus you will get to know a group of people intimately as you share from your own unique perspective. The group will also have the opportunity to give back to the larger community by selecting a service project to do together at the end of the sessions. Each group will be led by a facilitator who will meet with me monthly for spiritual direction. I have spoken with ministers and lay leaders of other UU congregations who have shared with me that these groups have added remarkable spiritual depth and meaningful connection thereby enriching church life.
Our Small Group Ministry program will help to make real the following reading from the Evensong curriculum:

"Church is wherever in relationship we are encouraged to be more fully, more courageously our unique, individual selves"
"Church is where we are called to be a part of something larger than ourselves which is wholesome or holy."
"Church happens wherever our wounds begin healing."
"Church happens wherever our lostness is found."

Ministry, real meeting, happens when we are able to not only hear but truly listen.
"Ministry, real meeting, happens in prisons, and hospices, and hospitals; by cribs and cradles; in factories, offices and stores; in courtrooms and cocktail lounges and clinics and garages; in hovels, mansions, at bus stops and diners."

. . . . . and ministry, real meeting happens even . . . at church! May it be so.