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Copyright 2005 Rev. Amy B. Freedman Awakening Compassion Rev.
Amy B. Freedman "When Parents Die" was the name of a seminar that I recently attended in Providence along with our Caregiving Coordinator, Nickie Kates. The continuing education class was filled with social workers, counselors, and therapists who all recognize that bereavement over the loss of a parent touches the lives of their clients. Each one was there to learn from grief counselor Harold Ivan Smith about how to "help heal broken hearts and broken bonds." Even the most experienced among us sought a framework and practical guidance on coping with the loss of a parent. Even though this is an almost universal experience, many who had already lost their father or mother or both, expressed disbelief over the depth of their despair. Even among these professional caregivers, there was often a sense of isolation when the loss was close to home. Sometimes during a day-long seminar, it can be difficult to stay awake. On the contrary, Harold Ivan Smith kept us engaged for the full seven hours with his blend of theory, practical information, and storytelling. One story in particular I would like to pass on to you: When the Alamo was about to collapse, the women were sent away and they journeyed together to East Texas. This came to be known as "The Great 'Scape". The landscape was barren of vegetation and the spring rains began to turn the dust of the road to mud. Along the way, the older women held blankets over the heads of the pregnant and nursing women to help keep them dry. One of those women was the ancestor of the first woman elected to represent the state of Texas in the United States Senate, Kay Bailey Hutchinson. At the time, you could not have slipped under one of those blankets and said, "This child must survive because in future generations a baby girl will be born to serve in the United States Senate." They would not have understood! At the time, Texas was not a part of the United States, women could not vote, let alone run for public office. The blankets did not keep the rain from falling, but the older women provided warmth, shelter, and care for future generations. This story illustrates how profoundly our lives are interconnected. Even the simplest act is connected to others and the unfolding of phenomena. This morning I am going to focus on the Buddhist concept of compassion. Compassion is considered a virtue in all religions. In the Buddhist tradition, compassion is not a personal virtue but is the nature of existence itself. Buddha means "the awakened one". When Gautama arose from his meditation under the bodhi tree, he woke up from the dream of being a separate ego in a material universe. He woke up to what is known as paticca samuppada or dependent co-arising. No one is an isolated being. No act is a one-way street. No matter how lonely we may feel, our lives are interconnected. No matter how small an act, our actions have consequences that continue and also affect us. This idea of dependent co-arising led the Buddha to be critical of the society in which he lived. In India, many believed that the caste system was the divinely ordained social order with the Untouchables at the bottom and the Brahman at the top of the hierarchy of worthiness. The Buddha's rejection of the caste system and acceptance of people regardless of rank was extraordinary. Like Jesus, the Buddha felt that "pride in social rank was a sort of spiritual bondage." Clinging to and grasping for material goods and social status leads to suffering. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism is that suffering stems from craving. The Buddha founded the Sangha where the structure was egalitarian. Monks took a voluntary vow of poverty and practiced alms begging. In the Buddhist tradition, begging for food is seen as a sacrament. Alms begging is not considered a lazy way to be fed but is viewed as an act of trust that the universe will provide nourishment and that truly given our interdependence no human being owns private property. The Sangha depends on lay people in the surrounding area for food but it is a reciprocal relationship with the monks offering counseling or education to the community plus giving food to a beggar is a sacred act of generosity of as much benefit to the giver as to the receiver. Our reading this morning described another person who woke up to his
true path. Buckminster Fuller did not meditate under a bodhi tree like
Gautama instead at the age of thirty-two he was driven to the edge of
despair. One night on the shores of Lake Michigan he contemplated suicide.
Like many people whose expectations have been dashed, he began to wonder
if the world would be better off without him. His disappointment over
failed ventures was profound enough for him to believe that his wife and
infant child might be better off without him. Fortunately for his family
and for us, Buckminster Fuller did not commit suicide instead he had a
profound spiritual awakening. That night he decided to live as if he had
died. By releasing himself from his personal identity, from that moment
on his life became a gift in service to the world. What if each of us also made a commitment to follow our own true path,
offering our gifts of love and service to the world? The question Jon
Kabat-Zinn poses is "What is my job on the planet with a capital
J?" This shifts the focus of our goals from personal gain to our
larger context as part of an interdependent web of life. As Unitarian
Universalists many of us are mindful of the choices we make. However this
is more than a once in a lifetime decision or something we do now and
then. People create society. Western values promote the idea that we need
to rise above other people in order to succeed. Our society promotes through
advertising and commerce the delusion that we need to consume more and
more goods in order to experience satisfaction. The Buddha teaches that
clinging to societal expectations, these mirrors of greed, leads to suffering. For the week ahead, I offer you this spiritual practice. Imagine each person who crosses your path is your parent or child. There is no need for you to say anything to them or change your behavior towards them, simply open your heart to the possibility that you are intimately related. This spiritual practice of looking at each person as your father, mother, or child will awaken your compassion. This is particularly powerful when you would like to turn away or avoid someone. Sometimes we avoid someone who expresses opinions that are different from our own convictions. Instead of turning away, open your heart with compassion. Take the time to truly listen to what they have to say. Sometimes we turn away from a poor person. We do this not out of apathy or indifference but because the sight of them causes us pain and we are afraid of suffering. Instead of turning away, open your heart with compassion. Sometimes when a friend is in the midst of grief, we think we need to say something comforting. Instead of trying to cover over the pain of loss, offer the most vital gift-a caring presence. In this fast paced world, I often look for something to do. I want to
know the results of my actions immediately. I want to be reassured that
I have made a difference. Oftentimes what seems to be happening at the
moment is not the full story of what is going on. Buckminster Fuller often
used bees as an example of interconnection. As the bee flies from flower
to flower collecting nectar, for the bee, the honey is what is most important.
However, that is not the full story, the bee is nature's vehicle for the
cross-pollination of flowers. So even though I long to solve all of the
world's problems at once, my acts of compassion have a greater impact
than I will ever know. |